i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Randomize
