Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
