Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
