I wannas sexs uuuuu
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
