What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
