he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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