He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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