do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
