i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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