i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize