My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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