Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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