The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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