Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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