I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
