I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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