A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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