You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
honey bunches of taint.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Im part way to drunk.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
