Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Everclear isn't food dammit
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize