Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
