whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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