i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
