on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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