walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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