I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
