I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
