i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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