Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
