So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
