I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
