Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
