You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
