i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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