Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
this is an emotional support booty call
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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