Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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