why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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