If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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