yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
