they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize