A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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