i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
