the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
