I feel great
I just peed on a car
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
