help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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