You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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