I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
