your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
