physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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