im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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