she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
