just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
