Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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