My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You need Xanax blowdarts
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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