And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
