this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I supernannyed him into submission
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
