I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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