Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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