Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Please, let me fuck your mom
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Dicks are not precious.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
