Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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