did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My penis needs a shock collar
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
