what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
