can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
