you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
